thanks forever:ything
inside her room, she paints me blueTuesday, April 26, 2005
well... it's been a while since i've spat on this page.
for those who don't know: http://spaces.msn.com/members/scentedteardrops/
now you know.
perhaps if i find some spare creativity time in the near future, i will move myself back here.
peas and carrots yo!
for those who don't know: http://spaces.msn.com/members/scentedteardrops/
now you know.
perhaps if i find some spare creativity time in the near future, i will move myself back here.
peas and carrots yo!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
it's snowing, in vancouver.
i have a bit of a cold, so i don't know if it's the best idea for me to go outside and play just yet. right now i'm stuck indoors, staring at pictures and trying to remember where i've been over the past few years.
ehehe... oh yea...
i have a bit of a cold, so i don't know if it's the best idea for me to go outside and play just yet. right now i'm stuck indoors, staring at pictures and trying to remember where i've been over the past few years.
ehehe... oh yea...
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
today i met a girl on the skytrain.
she asked me what time it was, and i told her it was twenty to five.
she got off the train at the next stop and i never saw her again.
best relationship ever.
she asked me what time it was, and i told her it was twenty to five.
she got off the train at the next stop and i never saw her again.
best relationship ever.
lets write a song about it
fine
go
put down the butterscotch schnapps and update your blog
wait...how come you're online if you're sleeping on the streets
which one?
i have 2
i'm sitting at the internet cafe in the dark
even immigrants have something to type about
are you serious?
my mom's house is down the street
what the hell
go update your blog
ok
i cant find mine
lisa is my favourite
fine
go
put down the butterscotch schnapps and update your blog
wait...how come you're online if you're sleeping on the streets
which one?
i have 2
i'm sitting at the internet cafe in the dark
even immigrants have something to type about
are you serious?
my mom's house is down the street
what the hell
go update your blog
ok
i cant find mine
lisa is my favourite
Saturday, January 01, 2005
happy new year.
i just climbed out of my morning shower, 5:30pm.
i think i've got a fever.
tomorrow is my last day of work, F U: i quit.
my roommate's cat is going to die today.
claws and meows, piss on the kitchen floor.
not a happy couple in sight, on new year's day.
something is missing from my life,
and i'm so glad i can't find it.
i just climbed out of my morning shower, 5:30pm.
i think i've got a fever.
tomorrow is my last day of work, F U: i quit.
my roommate's cat is going to die today.
claws and meows, piss on the kitchen floor.
not a happy couple in sight, on new year's day.
something is missing from my life,
and i'm so glad i can't find it.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
...finally had a half decent day at work today/tonight. i really needed that.
i guess my day off yesterday had something to do with it.
not feeling so energetic right now though. gonna go pass out on the couch...
i guess my day off yesterday had something to do with it.
not feeling so energetic right now though. gonna go pass out on the couch...
Monday, December 20, 2004
silent, white / awoken and undressed / caffeine, nicotine / apples and cinnamon / soap, suds / ready and willing / understood, forgotten / whispers and raindrops / put on, and take off.
i took the day off work today so i could do some christmas shopping. almost done... i still have to find the most important gift, for my mom. i think i'm going to get a picture of myself done up for her. she doesn't have any formal pictures of me since my graduation 5 years ago... i also have to get her liquor. a drunk mom is a happy mom! i love shopping for my neice & nephew. i spoil the hell out of them, mainly because i see so many cool toys, i just have to buy them. i remember christmas when i was a kid, my uncles would do the same. i guess now i understand why...why have kids of your own when you can just spoil someone else's kid and save yourself all the dirty work of raising a child? ehehe...
i got my sister the new 2pac cd, produced by eminem. picked up a copy for myself too... i'm not much of a gangsta, but the legacy of 2pac deserves my patronage. listening now...good shit.
i took the day off work today so i could do some christmas shopping. almost done... i still have to find the most important gift, for my mom. i think i'm going to get a picture of myself done up for her. she doesn't have any formal pictures of me since my graduation 5 years ago... i also have to get her liquor. a drunk mom is a happy mom! i love shopping for my neice & nephew. i spoil the hell out of them, mainly because i see so many cool toys, i just have to buy them. i remember christmas when i was a kid, my uncles would do the same. i guess now i understand why...why have kids of your own when you can just spoil someone else's kid and save yourself all the dirty work of raising a child? ehehe...
i got my sister the new 2pac cd, produced by eminem. picked up a copy for myself too... i'm not much of a gangsta, but the legacy of 2pac deserves my patronage. listening now...good shit.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
came home from work this evening to find a note from my roommate saying: "leave $40 for cable & hydro, gone til' sunday, feed the cat." i'm happy with that. $40 and a little kittysitting in exchange for a couple days of peace and quiet, fuck yeah.
got an invitation to a new year's party via e-mail. a couple of my old employer's are throwing another houseparty shindig. very classy people, and have been great friends over the past few years. if i had made previous plans for new year's eve, other than working or cleaning my toilet, i would have bumped them off for this house party without any hesitation.
on a lighter note: for some reason i'm growing a goutee (sp?). yea... it'll be gone before sunrise.
got an invitation to a new year's party via e-mail. a couple of my old employer's are throwing another houseparty shindig. very classy people, and have been great friends over the past few years. if i had made previous plans for new year's eve, other than working or cleaning my toilet, i would have bumped them off for this house party without any hesitation.
on a lighter note: for some reason i'm growing a goutee (sp?). yea... it'll be gone before sunrise.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
spent last night at my mom's house.
i'm moving back to my old place in her basement as soon as my roommate finds someone else to take my place here.
i've already mapped out the interior of the place. it's gonna look amazing.
i have about $3000 in rennovations to do to the place. paint, furniture, art, etc.
when completed, i hope to have established a minimalistic sanctuary where i can come home from work and chill the fuck out.
for the most part, i'm excited.
i'm moving back to my old place in her basement as soon as my roommate finds someone else to take my place here.
i've already mapped out the interior of the place. it's gonna look amazing.
i have about $3000 in rennovations to do to the place. paint, furniture, art, etc.
when completed, i hope to have established a minimalistic sanctuary where i can come home from work and chill the fuck out.
for the most part, i'm excited.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
i think i miss someone...
Monday, December 13, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
FROST : HALF-WHOLE
Irreplaceable
are you
but I can always give support
I can give advice
but you
will always find you own ways
I can hold your hand
but you
will always walk alone
So unbearable
is life
you'll have to serve your own ends
I'll be by your side
still you
will always walk alone
So let it go and forgive
there's so much life to be lived
Always
on your own
You're always on your own
--------------------
thanks leslie, you've given me one more reason not to sleep tonight.
Irreplaceable
are you
but I can always give support
I can give advice
but you
will always find you own ways
I can hold your hand
but you
will always walk alone
So unbearable
is life
you'll have to serve your own ends
I'll be by your side
still you
will always walk alone
So let it go and forgive
there's so much life to be lived
Always
on your own
You're always on your own
--------------------
thanks leslie, you've given me one more reason not to sleep tonight.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Saturday, November 20, 2004
so... a dear friend of mine, a woman i cared deeply for and watched over for the past 4 years, has landed herself in a US federal prison for 8 years as of monday november 15th. i cannot describe how heartwrenched i am. after first hearing the news via 3 phonecalls from different friends/acquaintances, i felt somewhat nonchalant and brushed it off as more rumors or bogus conversational updates. i woke up thursday morning to see a news article my roommate had left on our computer's browser; "Third strike for teen drug smuggler", i didn't have to read past the headline before my world turned dark and silent. shortly after, i left for work, searching for a newsstand to grab a copy of the paper... and there it was, on the front page of the day's paper.
the past 2 days have been a write-off for me. dragging my feet underneath my sagging head. my eyes dimmed and my life on mute.
the only thought i have left, is of my failure. i could have helped her. i could have done something.
i am a defeated man, and redemption has never been my strong suit.
four years of love. two week of tears. i'll be under the golden gates, wishing you the best.
...good luck, winnie.
the past 2 days have been a write-off for me. dragging my feet underneath my sagging head. my eyes dimmed and my life on mute.
the only thought i have left, is of my failure. i could have helped her. i could have done something.
i am a defeated man, and redemption has never been my strong suit.
four years of love. two week of tears. i'll be under the golden gates, wishing you the best.
...good luck, winnie.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
19 more days, and i'll be tearin' up the streets of san francisco!
...because I can.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
You are Screamo off the wall. You are underground
as hell and you know it. Most likely no one's
ever heard of any of your favorite bands, but
you know where it's at.
How Screamo are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
coffeeshop visit part 2:
...trying to juggle; coffee, cigarette, pen, paper, mobile phone, etc.
...trying to juggle; coffee, cigarette, pen, paper, mobile phone, etc.
i love these 'day off' things...
...me and my intimate moments at the coffeeshop.
...me and my intimate moments at the coffeeshop.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
...great wine
great girl...
had a meeting at 9am today. that was rough.
great girl...
had a meeting at 9am today. that was rough.
Friday, November 05, 2004
hi!
i've been drunk for the past 8 days... i'm so drunk right now...
bottle of wine bottle of wine bottle of wine more more more..................
apparently i'm falling for a girl from work... i guess she was around once or twice while i was at the bar after work getting hammered. we must've made plans to get drunk tomorrow night or something. she came up to me today, called me 'honey', and told me she can't wait for tomorrow night... ok. cool. i've known this girl for 8 months, loved her from day one but thought nothing of it other than her being hot. now we're starting to get kinda close and i'm sooooo fucking drunk.
aiite... well... i guess 24 hours and 4 bottles of wine will hold the answers to whatever's on my mind right now.
haven't really done any work lately... been working on the same piece for the past few days... so drunk that my creativity to alcohol level in my blood is like 1 to 400... but yea... i dunno...
i've been drunk for the past 8 days... i'm so drunk right now...
bottle of wine bottle of wine bottle of wine more more more..................
apparently i'm falling for a girl from work... i guess she was around once or twice while i was at the bar after work getting hammered. we must've made plans to get drunk tomorrow night or something. she came up to me today, called me 'honey', and told me she can't wait for tomorrow night... ok. cool. i've known this girl for 8 months, loved her from day one but thought nothing of it other than her being hot. now we're starting to get kinda close and i'm sooooo fucking drunk.
aiite... well... i guess 24 hours and 4 bottles of wine will hold the answers to whatever's on my mind right now.
haven't really done any work lately... been working on the same piece for the past few days... so drunk that my creativity to alcohol level in my blood is like 1 to 400... but yea... i dunno...
Sunday, October 24, 2004
well i've had a pretty stressful day.
work was retarded cuz 1/2 the kitchen staff didn't show up and i ended up having to do stuff i had no idea how to do. but i brushed that off with a couple smokes. my trip home was kind of nice and relaxing. went to the grocery store and picked up some stuff for dinner.
came home expecting a nice quiet dinner and a movie.
but then i got home and remembered my roommate got a cat last week...
well... he just knocked a plant over. that was the last straw. so i locked him in our spare room where his kitty litter thingie is. SERENITY NOW.
once again... the only thing that can come from pussy, is a headache.
but we did have some good times today...
here we are drinking from the toilet
...and now for a bath
dinner time
dinner for...two?
MIIINE!
pwwwwwease?
what a day...what a day...
work was retarded cuz 1/2 the kitchen staff didn't show up and i ended up having to do stuff i had no idea how to do. but i brushed that off with a couple smokes. my trip home was kind of nice and relaxing. went to the grocery store and picked up some stuff for dinner.
came home expecting a nice quiet dinner and a movie.
but then i got home and remembered my roommate got a cat last week...
well... he just knocked a plant over. that was the last straw. so i locked him in our spare room where his kitty litter thingie is. SERENITY NOW.
once again... the only thing that can come from pussy, is a headache.
but we did have some good times today...
here we are drinking from the toilet
...and now for a bath
dinner time
dinner for...two?
MIIINE!
pwwwwwease?
what a day...what a day...
Friday, October 22, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
there isn't much to say
i'm piss drunk
and words aren't worth the loves i've crossed
in these past few days.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
well it's //. a weekday (?_) you know what that means! well, what else would it mean if i'm posting in my B-=LOG. i'm piss drunk.
ummm yea... started off as a business meeting with my good friend rocky. we started somewhere in the general vicinity of uhh... here:
drank that whole bar dry...
3 hours later we're outside of some high school drinking a bottle of wine...
and now i'm at home with another bottle of wine...
AHHHHHHHH WHO KEEPS CALLING ME ID WITHHELD BOOOO!
so yea i've been drinking for about 9 hours straight. and i'm F'ing depressed! at home, by myself. and my phone keeps ringing but i'm not answering it cuz i don't know who's calling!
ummm yea... started off as a business meeting with my good friend rocky. we started somewhere in the general vicinity of uhh... here:
drank that whole bar dry...
3 hours later we're outside of some high school drinking a bottle of wine...
and now i'm at home with another bottle of wine...
AHHHHHHHH WHO KEEPS CALLING ME ID WITHHELD BOOOO!
so yea i've been drinking for about 9 hours straight. and i'm F'ing depressed! at home, by myself. and my phone keeps ringing but i'm not answering it cuz i don't know who's calling!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
i've got tonnes of free ME time now that i'm unable to work and my roommate's gone to the island for a few days. so until tuesday i'll most likely be sitting around the house: doodling, writing, sipping coffee and chain smoking.
here's the results of the first few hours:
here's the results of the first few hours:
Friday, September 24, 2004
..spent the day in my old neighbourhood with one of my best friends. she gave me 2 packs of smokes to change her front doorknob. accidently closed the door before putting the second half of the knob on, and locked us in for a while... another sitcom moment. had a smoke and solved the problem.
here's the view from her 20th floor condo in the suburban ghetto of surrey, bc.
then we chilled at starbucks for a couple hours... we tried sitting inside for once. i'll never participate in that again. the patio is definately as far into starbucks culture as i'll go.
here's the view from her 20th floor condo in the suburban ghetto of surrey, bc.
then we chilled at starbucks for a couple hours... we tried sitting inside for once. i'll never participate in that again. the patio is definately as far into starbucks culture as i'll go.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
yummm yummm!
well... my best friend whom i haven't seen in like 7 months was supposed to come over today... so much for that i guess. unless he's just fashionably 3 hours late...
oh well, another peaceful night at home. i'm sure someone will drop by...
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
...messed up my shoulder at work today. so i'm off for a few days. can't even lift a cigarette into my mouth, or pour coffee down my throat. this sucks.
i'll be sitting on my patio until thursday, trying to enjoy the light of day that i so rarely get to see... it's pretty sad that it took a pretty bad injury to earn myself a day off work. tomorrow will be my first full day off work for the month of september. what the hell am i going to do with myself?
i'll be sitting on my patio until thursday, trying to enjoy the light of day that i so rarely get to see... it's pretty sad that it took a pretty bad injury to earn myself a day off work. tomorrow will be my first full day off work for the month of september. what the hell am i going to do with myself?
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
well now that i've got a usb data port for my cameraphone, i can take pictures of my daily life and post them in my blog.
goooooooo emo!
uh.. here's a picture i took when i was sitting at starbucks!
goooooooo emo!
uh.. here's a picture i took when i was sitting at starbucks!
Saturday, September 11, 2004
it's 5am
i'm f'ing drink
drunk
and i i just wanna be alone
alone with company
accompanied by loneliness
i got off work at midnight... had a couple drinks... came home... buddy came by and we went out to hit up a club at 2am... got to the club 20 minutes before it closed, ran into everyone cuz yea... i guess i know everyone everywhere ... downtown nightlife's like that i guess... and i'm drunk...
came home...
drank some more...
everyone's gone...
roommate's passed out after brawl with her boyfriend...
yea ....
so i'm drunk...
heyyyyyy it's my birthday in 4 days...
i'm f'ing drink
drunk
and i i just wanna be alone
alone with company
accompanied by loneliness
i got off work at midnight... had a couple drinks... came home... buddy came by and we went out to hit up a club at 2am... got to the club 20 minutes before it closed, ran into everyone cuz yea... i guess i know everyone everywhere ... downtown nightlife's like that i guess... and i'm drunk...
came home...
drank some more...
everyone's gone...
roommate's passed out after brawl with her boyfriend...
yea ....
so i'm drunk...
heyyyyyy it's my birthday in 4 days...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
a day off work and the apartment to myself
fresh pack of smokes and a pot of coffee
emo hair and lo-fi trip hop
calls for art
FRESH UP!~
fresh pack of smokes and a pot of coffee
emo hair and lo-fi trip hop
calls for art
FRESH UP!~
Sunday, September 05, 2004
it's not easy being.
but there isn't much else to do.
do be do.
but there isn't much else to do.
do be do.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
angry drunks keeping me up all night. screaming bloody murder in the back alley.
woke up early this afternoon to some kid screaming MOM angrily, over and over. followed by glass shattering screamings...
i've always been a fan of the t-shirts they print and sell at threadless. i haven't visited the site in a while, but i always check it out when i'm in a "i need a new t-shirt" mood.
i think i'm gonna pick this one up for my birthday:
11 more days..... man i'm getting old.
woke up early this afternoon to some kid screaming MOM angrily, over and over. followed by glass shattering screamings...
i've always been a fan of the t-shirts they print and sell at threadless. i haven't visited the site in a while, but i always check it out when i'm in a "i need a new t-shirt" mood.
i think i'm gonna pick this one up for my birthday:
11 more days..... man i'm getting old.
Friday, September 03, 2004
/mix it together
coldly warmly
this song
let it reach you
gather up
the glittering landscapes
the sky
changes to BLUE
thin it out
i want to melt it all
quickly
let my heart touch you/
notsogood translation of luna sea - 4am
meh
coldly warmly
this song
let it reach you
gather up
the glittering landscapes
the sky
changes to BLUE
thin it out
i want to melt it all
quickly
let my heart touch you/
notsogood translation of luna sea - 4am
meh
Monday, August 30, 2004
yesterday my roommate and i were lounging around the apartment bored out of our minds, so we decided to throw a wine & cheese party.
it was a nice little turnout with good times all around.
sushi party next weekend.
it was a nice little turnout with good times all around.
sushi party next weekend.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
ahh fuck i just spilled cranberry juice all over myself...
so much for this entry...
i have one cigarette and twenty-five cents to my name for the next 36 hours.
both are sitting on my coffee table at home safely.
unfortunately, i am not at home right now.
i have no cigarettes and no money ...
and i just spilled cranF'INGberry juice all over myself...
oh but i can't be mad at cranberries... mmmm... dry sour...
i've decided on the phone i'm going to buy this weekend.
siemens c65
until tonight i was set on getting the sony ericsson z200. i really wanted a playful flip phone. but the c65 just popped up in stores here yesterday, so i'm going to jump at that. it has an integrated camera, which is what sold me. i'm almost certain this phone will be the next "nokia 3390"; which every joe and suzy on the street has come to own at one point in the past 3 or so years, but that's fine. i like tacos, and i'm sure lots of other people like tacos. that's not gonna stop me from eating tacos!
anyways...
...fucking cranberry juice!
goodnight.
so much for this entry...
i have one cigarette and twenty-five cents to my name for the next 36 hours.
both are sitting on my coffee table at home safely.
unfortunately, i am not at home right now.
i have no cigarettes and no money ...
and i just spilled cranF'INGberry juice all over myself...
oh but i can't be mad at cranberries... mmmm... dry sour...
i've decided on the phone i'm going to buy this weekend.
siemens c65
until tonight i was set on getting the sony ericsson z200. i really wanted a playful flip phone. but the c65 just popped up in stores here yesterday, so i'm going to jump at that. it has an integrated camera, which is what sold me. i'm almost certain this phone will be the next "nokia 3390"; which every joe and suzy on the street has come to own at one point in the past 3 or so years, but that's fine. i like tacos, and i'm sure lots of other people like tacos. that's not gonna stop me from eating tacos!
anyways...
...fucking cranberry juice!
goodnight.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
i moved into my new apartment a few days ago.
nice, nice...
but there's nothing to do there right now. so i'm staying at my mom's house for a while. where the food is free and the hookers are cheap!
nice, nice...
but there's nothing to do there right now. so i'm staying at my mom's house for a while. where the food is free and the hookers are cheap!
Sunday, July 18, 2004
so i got a haircut...
oh yea it's all gone.
i feel 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger.
marvelous!
i definately look a lot healthier and cleaner than i have for the past 6 months. why it took me so long to come to my senses, i dunno...
the first half of this year was a MESS. but this month is proving to be productive and redeeming. i think i have enough in me to keep myself on my feet for the rest of the year.
go bob go.
oh yea it's all gone.
i feel 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger.
marvelous!
i definately look a lot healthier and cleaner than i have for the past 6 months. why it took me so long to come to my senses, i dunno...
the first half of this year was a MESS. but this month is proving to be productive and redeeming. i think i have enough in me to keep myself on my feet for the rest of the year.
go bob go.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
/blip///blip///
program robobob;
procedure fuck(var s; e);
var dumbass;
begin
new(dumbass);
dumbass^.next:=s;
s:=dumbass;
s^.elm:=e;
end;
function shit(var s);
var dumbass;
begin
dumbass:=s;
s:=s^.next;
dumbass^.next:=nil;
shit:=dumbass^.elm;
end;
var
a;
b;
c;
d;
begin
fuck(a,94);
fuck(b,true);
c:=shit(a);
d:=shit(b);
end.
program robobob;
procedure fuck(var s; e);
var dumbass;
begin
new(dumbass);
dumbass^.next:=s;
s:=dumbass;
s^.elm:=e;
end;
function shit(var s);
var dumbass;
begin
dumbass:=s;
s:=s^.next;
dumbass^.next:=nil;
shit:=dumbass^.elm;
end;
var
a;
b;
c;
d;
begin
fuck(a,94);
fuck(b,true);
c:=shit(a);
d:=shit(b);
end.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
my first day off in 10 days. i'm going househunting.
3 more weeks and i'll have a home!
3 more weeks and i'll have a home!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
my canada day excursion to the island was a huge success.
as you can see, miguel is stuffing my head into a garbage can!
24 hours of drinking... and now... on with my life...
as you can see, miguel is stuffing my head into a garbage can!
24 hours of drinking... and now... on with my life...
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
everything is set up for me to start living again.
tomorrow i am off to vancouver island to celebrate canada day. or at least celebrate my wonderful life of getting drunk in the afternoon and asking waitresses to marry me. either way, fun.
i am moving out with a friend at the end of july. i've been on haitus staying at my mom's house in the ghetto for nearly 4 months now. 4 months too long.
my best friend is in korea until mid-august. so there will be no wine & dine life for a while. nor will there be 4am trips to the donut shop, or excessive amounts of money spent at starbucks.
this girl i kind of like just left for a 3 week vacation. this will leave me virtually undistractable. indestructable!
i will be spending the month of july on AWOL from any kind of social life. i am taking up a second job doing temp work during weekdays, and keeping my current evenings & weekends job at the restaurant. i will be on the job/commuting to the job for 18+ hours a day. this should give me more than enough finances to get myself moved into the new place, feed myself for a while, and have just about enough savings left to send myself to thailand as an early birthday present around the end of august/early september.
this should be fun!
tomorrow i am off to vancouver island to celebrate canada day. or at least celebrate my wonderful life of getting drunk in the afternoon and asking waitresses to marry me. either way, fun.
i am moving out with a friend at the end of july. i've been on haitus staying at my mom's house in the ghetto for nearly 4 months now. 4 months too long.
my best friend is in korea until mid-august. so there will be no wine & dine life for a while. nor will there be 4am trips to the donut shop, or excessive amounts of money spent at starbucks.
this girl i kind of like just left for a 3 week vacation. this will leave me virtually undistractable. indestructable!
i will be spending the month of july on AWOL from any kind of social life. i am taking up a second job doing temp work during weekdays, and keeping my current evenings & weekends job at the restaurant. i will be on the job/commuting to the job for 18+ hours a day. this should give me more than enough finances to get myself moved into the new place, feed myself for a while, and have just about enough savings left to send myself to thailand as an early birthday present around the end of august/early september.
this should be fun!
Monday, June 28, 2004
Kissing the sky, hello
Intimate
Magic
I
Wonderful, yeah...
On
Open, hello
Midnight
Other
Under
Tomorrow
Oh
Kiss
I...
Intimate
Magic
I
Wonderful, yeah...
On
Open, hello
Midnight
Other
Under
Tomorrow
Oh
Kiss
I...
Friday, June 25, 2004
5 hours ago i was officially informed that my entire life and life's work has been taken away from me, for good.
how can i explain the feeling of losing 23 years of your life in the blink of an eye. as though your home had burned down in fiery malice. or suddenly your neighbourhood became a war-torn battlezone, and when the dust settles; all that's left infront of you is flacid debris. how do i put into words, waking up in the morning to find yourself in a room that doesn't belong to you, not a single possession or memory nearby to comfort you in your earliest solitude.
to build a future without a past, would be as if building a house on a bed of sand.
and to think that such a gruesome human being exists. that disposing of another person's life can be as easy as taking out the trash. to take advantage of this power we are entrusted with. to be so shallow to ignore the consideration of others. how can such a person live?
the road which crumbles behind me, leads to nowhere
reaching the end, and falling.
though i am survived, by my heart and soul.
how can i explain the feeling of losing 23 years of your life in the blink of an eye. as though your home had burned down in fiery malice. or suddenly your neighbourhood became a war-torn battlezone, and when the dust settles; all that's left infront of you is flacid debris. how do i put into words, waking up in the morning to find yourself in a room that doesn't belong to you, not a single possession or memory nearby to comfort you in your earliest solitude.
to build a future without a past, would be as if building a house on a bed of sand.
and to think that such a gruesome human being exists. that disposing of another person's life can be as easy as taking out the trash. to take advantage of this power we are entrusted with. to be so shallow to ignore the consideration of others. how can such a person live?
the road which crumbles behind me, leads to nowhere
reaching the end, and falling.
though i am survived, by my heart and soul.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Monday, June 21, 2004
i had a strange dream last night. i dreamt that a lady from my old work called and asked me to come in to the office on "thursday at 10:45am". so i went to their office at 10:45am on thursday, realizing that i had been dressed up in a chef's uniform (which is for my current job). my old boss was scrubbed out with an afro, rollerskating around the office and he asked me what the hell i was doing there? i don't remember why the lady had called me in, but it wasn't important. anyways... i found myself later on in the dream, lying ontop of a desk half asleep. and then i heard some strange noises. it turned out to be a scorpion that for some reason made rattlesnake sounds. i was like OH FUCK! i tried to crush him with a pillow, but he had like super-titanium armour on him, so that didn't work. then some chick walked by and said something like "oh yea, the reason ..... is cuz we're infested with scorpions". eventually i got lazy and tried to go back to sleep, disregarding the scorpion. so he [the scorpion] crawled up my leg and dipped his poisonous tail thing into me, and i was like FUCK OFF I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. the scorpion looked at me, and started talking like a radio newscaster. i flung outta bed as that was the end of that stupidass dream.
the first thing i saw on the internet this morning was a picture of my ex-ex-ex-gf... she seems to be doing really well for herself. happy, successful, HOT....... i guess i'm spending today in regret for fucking that relationship up...
the first thing i saw on the internet this morning was a picture of my ex-ex-ex-gf... she seems to be doing really well for herself. happy, successful, HOT....... i guess i'm spending today in regret for fucking that relationship up...
stick it up your ass, rice crispy square.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
//dear life:
i'm coming to town for the weekend. maybe we'll hook up and do something together. i'll give you a call tonight.
cheers,
bob//
i'm coming to town for the weekend. maybe we'll hook up and do something together. i'll give you a call tonight.
cheers,
bob//
//dear life:
brb.
sincerely,
bob//
brb
bob
brb
bob
brbobrb @__<
brb.
sincerely,
bob//
brb
bob
brb
bob
brbobrb @__<
Sunday, June 13, 2004
sitting outside 10:30am coffee, cigarettes and not-so-good morning.
staring back at my reflection in an abandonned window propped up against the shed adjacent to mom's house.
bed-sex hair, pj bottoms, ghetto-raver hoodie, a pair of kicks, i'm sockless.
brr...
being back at home with mom is seeming to be the root of my troubled mind.
EWWWWWWWW WTF some dude across the street was watching me with binoculars. i turn my head and he's on his balcony behind an oak tree peeping away at me. i stare at him for like 5 seconds, then he decides to walk off casually. hahaha wtf. i wonder if he saw me jerking off earlier...
anyways.
haha sidetrack.
oh well, ...putting my problems aside for another day!
staring back at my reflection in an abandonned window propped up against the shed adjacent to mom's house.
bed-sex hair, pj bottoms, ghetto-raver hoodie, a pair of kicks, i'm sockless.
brr...
being back at home with mom is seeming to be the root of my troubled mind.
EWWWWWWWW WTF some dude across the street was watching me with binoculars. i turn my head and he's on his balcony behind an oak tree peeping away at me. i stare at him for like 5 seconds, then he decides to walk off casually. hahaha wtf. i wonder if he saw me jerking off earlier...
anyways.
haha sidetrack.
oh well, ...putting my problems aside for another day!
Friday, June 11, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Friday, June 04, 2004
there are three primary sides to me/
1) silent-mysterious-starvingartist-loner-poet
2) loud-abnoxious-flailing-partykid
3) do-gooder-sentimentalist-weak-hearted-romantic
and then there's about a thousand other moods i go through.
i'm having trouble finding someone who can put up with me.
1) silent-mysterious-starvingartist-loner-poet
2) loud-abnoxious-flailing-partykid
3) do-gooder-sentimentalist-weak-hearted-romantic
and then there's about a thousand other moods i go through.
i'm having trouble finding someone who can put up with me.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Sunday, May 30, 2004
another girl issue:
this one's not so depressing... there's this really cute girl that i like. and she's a wicked person on top of the good looks!
aiite, that's my issue!
this one's not so depressing... there's this really cute girl that i like. and she's a wicked person on top of the good looks!
aiite, that's my issue!
Saturday, May 29, 2004
so there's this girl who i've been in love with for the past 4 years. i've never been able to shake her out of my mind. i've destroyed relationships because the very thought of her makes me compare everyone to her, and nobody comes close... anyways, i'll spare the history lesson and get to my dilemma.
we see each other maybe once or twice a year. exchange i love you's and everlasting hugs. and then we go back to our own lives apart from each other. a few days ago she found me on friendster. we've exchanged a couple messages so far. last time i talked to her was in october.
i really want to tell her how i feel. how i miss her. and how she inspires my everyday life... but i don't feel it's appropriate to tell her. we have our own seperate lives and we really don't know each other anymore. although, whenever we run into each other, the earth seems to stop spinning. everything stops. and it's just her and i.
i'm afraid that if i don't tell her now, i might never get the chance to tell her... i should make one thing clear: i don't expect anything to become of us by my telling her how i feel. i want to tell her because if i don't, i'll have regret to live with for the rest of my life. but i just can't bring myself to tell her.
fuck... i can't even post this in my journal...
ok ...more simple...
i love this girl.
i know we will never be together. that's fine.
but i feel the need to pour my heart out to her.
but it doesn't feel appropriate.
appropriate...
since when do i do anything appropriate...
what the fuck...
i'm so confused....
sorry if you read this.
we see each other maybe once or twice a year. exchange i love you's and everlasting hugs. and then we go back to our own lives apart from each other. a few days ago she found me on friendster. we've exchanged a couple messages so far. last time i talked to her was in october.
i really want to tell her how i feel. how i miss her. and how she inspires my everyday life... but i don't feel it's appropriate to tell her. we have our own seperate lives and we really don't know each other anymore. although, whenever we run into each other, the earth seems to stop spinning. everything stops. and it's just her and i.
i'm afraid that if i don't tell her now, i might never get the chance to tell her... i should make one thing clear: i don't expect anything to become of us by my telling her how i feel. i want to tell her because if i don't, i'll have regret to live with for the rest of my life. but i just can't bring myself to tell her.
fuck... i can't even post this in my journal...
ok ...more simple...
i love this girl.
i know we will never be together. that's fine.
but i feel the need to pour my heart out to her.
but it doesn't feel appropriate.
appropriate...
since when do i do anything appropriate...
what the fuck...
i'm so confused....
sorry if you read this.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
a couple more pix from my weekend extravaganza.... lol, what a gong show... still recovering.
now those are some yellow fingers! go smoking!!
now those are some yellow fingers! go smoking!!
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
woke up pretty lonely this morning.
here's a song i found
buddahead - "broken"
Lately I've been staring out to space,
Forgetting time and how to spend my days.
It's the shape of things you left behind.
You disturbed my mind and now I'm less inclined
To find away out.
I find it's a waste of time.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Lately I've been feeling no regrets.
Forgetting how you got so in my head.
Everything that I thought was real has faded and I feel
There is no way to heal.
There is no way out.
I find it's a waste of time.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Wake up time and your not mine.
Everything you leave behind, every pillow talk, was fake.
My mistake.
I gotta keep my back straight.
Wake up time and I'm not fine.
Everything you left behind,
All the pillow talk was fake.
My mistake.
I gotta keep my back straight.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Tell me, "Am I broken?"
here's a song i found
buddahead - "broken"
Lately I've been staring out to space,
Forgetting time and how to spend my days.
It's the shape of things you left behind.
You disturbed my mind and now I'm less inclined
To find away out.
I find it's a waste of time.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Lately I've been feeling no regrets.
Forgetting how you got so in my head.
Everything that I thought was real has faded and I feel
There is no way to heal.
There is no way out.
I find it's a waste of time.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Wake up time and your not mine.
Everything you leave behind, every pillow talk, was fake.
My mistake.
I gotta keep my back straight.
Wake up time and I'm not fine.
Everything you left behind,
All the pillow talk was fake.
My mistake.
I gotta keep my back straight.
I'm spinning around a big mistake,
I'm pointing the blame at your name
I'm broken
You have made me broken.
Tell me, "Am I broken?"
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
2:30pm: walk into the coffee shop up the street. the HOT one is working today (there's 3 cuties, and 1 HOT girl). as i strolled in she greets me with a HI; in a chipper--"where have you been all my life" manner. i almost started laughing out loud right on the spot. i managed to hold it in, did the eye-contact/subtle 1/2 smile thing followed by a fresh HI pointed in her direction. at this point i'm wondering why i'm finding this so funny. she knows i'm going to ask for a tall light roast, doddle around for a second, then look at my horoscope taped on the cashier's counter. and i know i'm going to do that too. and i know that she knows.
i ask for a tall light roast. doddle around, glance at my horoscope (reads: do lots of reading today, brain can handle it!), and dig up a fresh bill out of my wallet for the coffee. at this point, i still feel as though i'm about to burst out laughing. she hands me my change, i smile and head over to the cream & sugar counter. no, i didn't leave her a tip. perverts and tryhards leave tips on a $1.75 coffee (i leave a tip after i get my 1st refill). the laughter is somewhat contained by this point. squinting my eyes and a sharp grin on my face as i glance out the window at the sun trying to peak through the stormy clouds. 2 sugars, no cream. stir. lid. grab a newspaper, smile and wander off to the patio.
what was the point of this story?
who fucking cares. that was the bulk of my day!
haha. SUCKAZ!
damn man... i need a girlfriend or something. or at least a girl to think about. my mind is mush.
i ask for a tall light roast. doddle around, glance at my horoscope (reads: do lots of reading today, brain can handle it!), and dig up a fresh bill out of my wallet for the coffee. at this point, i still feel as though i'm about to burst out laughing. she hands me my change, i smile and head over to the cream & sugar counter. no, i didn't leave her a tip. perverts and tryhards leave tips on a $1.75 coffee (i leave a tip after i get my 1st refill). the laughter is somewhat contained by this point. squinting my eyes and a sharp grin on my face as i glance out the window at the sun trying to peak through the stormy clouds. 2 sugars, no cream. stir. lid. grab a newspaper, smile and wander off to the patio.
what was the point of this story?
who fucking cares. that was the bulk of my day!
haha. SUCKAZ!
damn man... i need a girlfriend or something. or at least a girl to think about. my mind is mush.
Monday, May 24, 2004
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