thanks forever:ything

impulse./
i like this girl so i'm gonna ask her out tonight
dun dun dun
'fa sum' bob, fa sum

went to the hospital last night ... bestfriend is recovering pretty well . but he's lost so much weight . he got up and i literally could not see 1 ounce of meat on him ... scary .
i'm at work right now, and i'm actually awake for once . strange . i guess it kinda helps going to sleep at 9pm . i got 8 hours of sleep for the first time in ... my life ?

HOLY SHIT I'M SEXY
i'm gonna go get my hair done today and maybe do some grocery shopping

ufffff
i just remembered i watched the premier of julia lewis dryfus' new sitcom last night, 'watching ellie'
i thought i'd watch it cuz the critics said it sucked ass, but there was plenty of cleavage.
the whole episode was trash . what a waste of my time .
i swear, she was either doing the 22 minutes of cleavage shots for ratings, or as a sociological experiment to see who would actually notice what was going on in the show . which wasn't much .
i stopped staring at her breasts about 1 minute into the show . they weren't that appealing . nor was the show, but i managed to make it to the end with my tv still in one piece .

http://shitbegone.com/
the future of toilet paper . right here kids . get it while it's hot

what is your meaning of life?

ya... ok there...
i'm going to the hospital after work tonight . bestfriend is recovering from surgery [ had his colon removed ] . his parents called last night and told me he's slowly getting better . i guess that's a good sign .

they're playing a lot of radiohead on the radio today
look at me, i'm excited ...

one thing i love about working stiffs ; morning conversation.
1/ 'morning'
2/ 'morning'
the end.
i love it . there's no GOOD . there's no BAD . there's no space fillers .
it's beautiful .
when i open the office in the morning, and my boss shows up, it's almost as delightful
boss1/ 'hey cleve'
me/ 'hey'
boss2/ 'how's it goin'...?'
me/ 'good'
the end.

ahhh the life of an anti-socialite
at least until coffee chats me up

this girl got on the bus today as i was coming home from work,
she talked and sounded exactly like a girl i once knew and fell in love with .
actually i still know that girl, but we've grown so far apart .
and i'm still in love with her ...
so i was sitting on the bus, listening to this voice, beating myself up .
i almost wanted to go up to the girl and tell her to shutup,
that voice was bringing back such sweet memories . and man did it hurt ...

i swear ... either these quizzes are too obvious (which they probably are)
or ... no, these quizzes are way too obvious.
honestly, if there was 1 hollywood actor/actress that i would stalk. it would be josh hartnett
he's fucking sexy, and YES i'm straight.
doesn't matter. he's fucking sexy.
i think the first movie i saw him in was THE FACULTY
and i was like "yes! sexy action-packed drug dealers! we need more of those!"

but u know what, he doesn't look too attractive in that quiz pic...
boooooo. where's my coffee, i'm going to work.

ok i HAD to take this quiz when i came across it


i didn't even have to cheat, jeez...

i've never even actually seen the show, but everyone says i'm like spongebob,
and ppl give me cute spongebob stuff, kek...

thx jen for the v-day card (the only one i got this year *sigh*...)

and ehh... my ex-gf sent me this one from LA, last summer ...

errrrr

give me coffee
or let me die

oh my ...

i think i'm obsessed with these quiz things



look at me,
my mother always said i'd end up a fruit .

byebye weekend.
ugh...

what the hell am i going to do /
i can't even occupy myself for a weekend,
let alone 55 frickin' years

it's gonna be a boring life
so get the hose.

word of advice to those who shop at amazon.com :
disable that "1-click purchase" option .

it doesn't mix well with alcohol .

just took the FFX quiz, i'm not surprised by the results . i know that's me, but ... ya whatever, that's me ...

You are Kimahri! Always faithful, and a little quiet, you're a true and noble friend. You'll stick up for them and always put them above yourself. People wouldn't want to be your enemy. You're often judged by your appearance.

Which Final Fantasy X Character would YOU be? Take the test.

my copy of FFX is still fucked up ... i was going to have mine replaced after sweet-talking a chick at EB, but i went home and couldn't find the receipt . so i'm still screwed . i might go out and buy a game doctor to see if that works, but if it doesn't ... that's more money down the drain . i'm at the end of the game too . jeez . i was so into it, then my PS2 ate it alive . boooooo .

5 - 2 CANADA WINS
WOOOOOOO

went to the hospital last nite to visit my best friend . he's having his colon removed tomorrow or tuesday . which was kinda hard to understand when i first heard that news . my initial response was " i'm no doctor, but don't you need a colon? " . then i was given a walkthrough of the procedure, and they showed me the ' replacement ' he would be given . it's basically a plastic bag . yum ...

he's never gonna be the same again . but at least the doctor said he'll be able to drink after he recovers from surgery .

gold medal hockey game today, i'm off to the bar .

it's good, morning . oh i love the weekend . i spend like $200 on food every friday.saturday.sunday. then complain all week, wondering where the hell all my money went . same thing, every weekend . mmmm food ... the problem is that i spend my weekends sitting around doing nothing, and it's always been my nature to rummage through the fridge when i'm bored. and if i do actually go out, it's probably to have lunch or dinner with a friend.

if anyone reading this lives in vancouver, bif naked is shooting a music video downtown tomorrow from 1-5 . on dunsmuir and something . shouldn't be hard to find . they're looking for extras . i might head down and poke my head into the crowd . i have no desire to be an extra . but i like hanging around large crowds of people, something interesting always happens to me [ like getting stabbed ] ... that reminds me, i hate bif naked's newest radio "hit" ... LEADER . worst song ever . maybe i'll go down there and knock her out . THWOMP .

the BLADE 2 soundtrack sucks . i thought it would be a hard blend of electronic & hip hop . no . it's too mellow and it's too mainstream . although roni size did a good job with the 2 tracks he got to throw on there [ the vocals are horrid, but the technicals of roni size are up to his par ] . the rest just isn't worth it . the fact that they put gorillaz on there, ugh ... my friend asked me to go to the gorillaz concert with him, in seattle . i told him " not until i can get across the canada/us border with a bomb " . i mean, there's music that i don't like but i can understand how some people would like it . but gorillaz, i can't understand how anyone would like their music . it's... not ... i dunno. IT SUCKS. even if i was stoned and i heard one of their songs, i'd RAGE . worst group ever .

well this useless post was brought to you by my dishes, which i need to go wash now .

it's friday night and there's so much to do out there
party sex drugs drink drive fall in a river wake up with a new STD
i'm 20 years old with kraft dinner up my nose . so why aren't i out there ?
had a dream this afternoon, that i fell in love.
suppose it wasn't meant to be
dream didn't return its love for me.

at least i have my light roast
going to watch willy wonka and the chocolate factory dvd
AHORA
VAMOS
ja ja rarararara

ahhh so i got this e-mail to-day from some derranged blog fanatic
' either you write really shitty poems or you're just stupid ' ...
i really admire people who live in a world of boundaries.
people who do what they do the way they do it because that is how it is
SUPPOSED to be done
we post speed limits on roads and highways
so billy-bob alabama doesn't slamabama his pick-up into auntie em
because he was doing 120 and she was grooming toto at 33
that's great
GET ON THE FUCKING AUTOBON ASSHOLE
i do what i do the way i do it and you can get the fuck outta my way
i know no limit
rules . conformity . lack of originality
A+ on your american SAT
moron.
i didn't win a scholarship and automatic pass of first year university english for writing 'once upon a time... grandma sucked me off'
i wrote about asparagus people and their untimely search for an organ donor
...
fuck! i still haven't cashed that scholarship.
leave me alone buddy,
i'm trying to read porn-spam

i think you should all read this
good ol' japan

i just dozed off at work
killed 15 minutes
where the hell is everyone?
friday and i'm always the only one doing something productive

yea, real productive
zzz...blog...smoke...pee...

i've come across a couple entertaining links today, since i'm boring myself to death here at work ...
some crazyass interactive bruce lee site
THE OFFICIAL NINJA WEBSITE
i saw a few blogs that have those links posted today, so i thought i'd join the masses
spread the word and laugh my ass off
i want the ninja coffee mugs. but $14US . no thanks
not with the canadian dollar the way it is.

speaking of canada. GO CANADA
a WHOMPER of a hockey game on right now,
4-1 CANADA right now. we got a dish at work, but a tiny tv, and i'm not watching it cuz it's in my bosses office and i'm happily confined to my own office . ah well i can listen to it on the radio. .. .
i went to the gas station and they had it on in the back, so i started watching with them for a bit .
weird people work in gas stations . but it's all another story for me to bedazzle my friends with, piss drunk of course .

coldplay - yellow is on the radio right now
haven't heard that song in ages. more than 5 months i think
the last time i had a girlfriend ...
all the feelings are coming back with the song .
and even though she was one of the worst girls i've been with,
there was something about her that i haven't experienced with most girls .
don't get me wrong, i still dislike her with a passion .


loneliness doesn't pass the time fast enough
and life is too long to live

FINALLY!
my boss went out and bought us a coffeemaker .
this is like the only good thing that's happened to me this week .
it's about frickin' time ...

in other news ...
i think i've come to a decision ;
i'm going back to school .
since my student loan is paid off now,
and i currently live right by my college
i might as well, right?
i WAS in a criminology program, i don't know if i want to stick with it... even though i still have strong interest in the legal system... i think i might swing a little more towards english or sociology ... maybe i'll just go for general studies

i just hope i don't get too drunk tonite and forget all about my new plans
[ good thing i'm posting them, kek ]

FRIDAY
JUST ME AND JACK TONIGHT
*gulp*

and someone to read
while it burns

?

i hate the rain ...
a tree fell on our office or something, the roof is leaking
wonderful ...
to me, rain is like fate
i can't control it - it happens, inevitably
and that pisses me off
i can't protect myself from it
unless i sacrifice my so-called life
hide inside like a coward
i pride myself on living a peaceful, stree-free life
but the elements are the only thing i can't grip

holy control freak batman

but soooooon... sooooon, the elements will be mine
and rain will fall no more

WHAT A GAME!
now that's hockey
2-1 canada
we're goin' to the semi's baby!

anyways... ughh...
last nite my ex-gf called [ we're like best friends still ]
she was HOSED
crying about her boyfriend and her other ex-boyfriend that moved away last year
and then she started crying and apologizing to me
because she always calls me when she's drunk or depressed
and she wishes that she wouldn't
...
her problems are so adolescent
she's almost 23 now and she's lost in high school drama or something
not that i can blame her...
she keeps telling me to call her whenever i've got problems
i never do
i don't call anyone
problem or no problem, i just don't like piking up the phone and dialing.
ok i'm gonna go play around in photoshop and see if i can't come up with something nice for my site...

TACO

stupid freaking domain...
ok everything's good now

GO CANADA!

ok i feel a lot better now
i went rollerblading around town
got some fresh air and some much needed exercise...
i can't wait 'til summer. i'll be on my blades 24/7
pissing off skaters at their parks
good luck catching me shitdip!

maybe i'll go snowboarding this weekend
humm...

crap dammit i'm sexy
yes!

feeling pretty discontent right now
why? iono......
i went shopping today, so ... shouldn't i be excited?
i guess i was, earlier...
actually i think i'm just stoned right now...
i should be happy
tomorrow, my student loan will be officially out of my hair
that's 1 less collection agent on my back
now i just have to worry about all the tickets on my license...
i'll be in debt for another 2 years at least.
unless i stumble across another lump sum of money
which i managed to do twice last year
mmm... income tax refund coming soon.
that should be an easy 1000 in my pocket
give or take... probably take... 2 or 3 hundred...
i really don't care... ' it's just money '
so i've always said...
i'll probably buy a new computer
maybe an ibook or something to show off
man i'm cool...

goooooooood morning
ok not quite...

man i'm hungry. i could go make something to eat, but i figured i'd waste my time this morning getting all dressed up so i can go shopping after (or probably during) work. plus i'm just plain old lazy and the stove doesn't look too attractive right now. i still have time. forget it.

i feel like i got REALLY SAUCED last nite. but after reading what i blogged last nite, i know for a fact what happened. i think...

i've been looking at my hands a lot more lately, they don't look so girly anymore. they're getting some muscle on them or something. it's weird. how can i masturbate with these foreign objects...? oh well, they're still nice and soft. which is hard enough to believe considering the lines of work i've been in before...

well i was gonna catch the early bus this morning, grab a bite on the way, i mite still... but it's raining. and i hate being in the rain enough as it is. so i'm not going out there all dressed up. i swear it's my ' destiny ' to invent an umbrella THAT WORKS. as far back as i can remember, i've been pissed off at umbrellas. what do they do, really? they keep your head dry! wahoooo! that makes me feel so much better going to the mall with soaking wet pants, feet, 1/2 my shirt AS LONG AS MY HEAD IS DRY! please... don't even get me started on the wind factor ... like, HELLO WE'RE IN CANADA! could u send us some umbrellas that aren't made of paper-thin metal and nylon? maybe i should shutup and buy a car.

so i'll just call a cab. $10 is a small price to pay for a stress-free day.

to hell with human contact!
i wasted my entire evening because i wanted to talk to someone
well i guess it wasn't really wasted then
but i should've washed my dishes and had a shower
3 hours of senseless talk, for what!?!

i'm going to bed
i want a cigarette
yuck
g'nite

raaaaaaaa just got home from work
canada tied the czech's... awesome game for canada
i'm glad they tied, i didn't want them to win. cuz now they get to play finland instead of russia..

got a message from my mom today...
dinner on saturday
she didn't say why... but who cares
GOOD EATS!

i keep forgetting the # for my voice mail
and i need to buy new shoes

well canada defeated germany
i'm still not satisfied with canada's performace
they came out strong, but finished off weak.

i remember when i was 12,
our home team went to the stanley cup finals
against the new york rangers
and i was on the side of a highly congested stretch of road
with a sheet of plywood, stolen from a construction site
spraypainted on one side ' honk for canucks ' --
' go canucks go ' on the other
we made the evening news and the local paper
rollerblading around town waving a white towel
roaring and chanting at the coliseum
over the big screens during away games
ending up in a riot downtown

...kids these days.
we're nothing.

hockey used to be our national identity
now it's just a stereotype we can't live up to

CANADA VS. GERMANY
it's go time!

i came across this poem just now . and i swear every poet writes this poem . there's nothing special in this one, but i came across it and said
' hey i wrote that poem too...! '

invisible life

if i could walk through these walls
you know, i would
if there's a place at the end of the
line, i am there
and if i had any concerns
it doesn't matter
no one cares
i will never leave a fingerprint
you will never find a hair
when i talk
it's just a whisper
floating on thin air
i am happy in my corner
no one knows i'm there

- ralph
[ local poet / musician / has his own little magazine / my kinda guy ]

there's a spider in one corner of my washroom . i named it herbert
actually it's been there since i first moved here
i've watched herbert grow from the size of a dust-mite to a peanut .

embracing the day he leaves his corner
and i get to suck him up with my vacuum

i have a little fetish with my writing
i stare it for hours in awe
like did i write this ?

strangely i have amazing writing when i'm under the influence

all hail the sharpie

i bought a pack of batteries
i think they're too strong

birdie is swingin'
like tomorrow's gonna be here in half the time...
it's been stuck on 4:30 for the past week
i guess he's trying to catch up?
energizer wahoo!


which way to jazz?

pet peeve numero uno : selfishness
pet peeve numero dos : crybabies
pet peeve numero tres : not enough drugs to change the subject on mind

oh wait there's a parking lot groove down the street
sounds jungle'y
nah i'll stay home drumandbass
lanlord eats it
ra ra ra
hey i bought ice cream
cappuccino biscotti

my best friend called me this morning ;
' i'm going to the hospital dude '
ok i'll find u there ...
and of course my charm got me practically escorted right up to his bed .
he lost 17 pounds in the past week...
i didn't even know he had that much weight to lose.
he couldn't even move, what a sight.
what was i supposed to say to him?
so i just had a normal conversation with him.
i didn't want to bring him down with depressing serious chatter.
i always look at the bright side anyways. so why should my conversational tone change?
i don't want to make him feel like he's dying. i want him to know that nothing's gonna change.
and we're going to get through this and carry on with our beavis & butthead 'esque friendship.
he told me to stop worrying
' go shopping '
and so i did .
i went downtown all by myself, shopped for 3 hours and bought nothing
i was looking for shoes the whole time, but couldn't find what i was looking for
i found a nice pair of pants
but they were diesel
diesel $205 pants
i went home, did some grocery shopping on the way
how on earth did i forget to buy eggs ? i eat like 3242439857 a day
i got 2 papaya instead .
ok i'm satisfied ...

bailed on my boss a couple hours early. went to a friends house and watched the hockey game [ canada vs. sweden ]
disappointing to say the least. but anything's better than work.
weekend now. think i'll just sit at home and hack away.
i sweet-talked my way into getting my damaged copy of final fantasy X replaced
damn i'm good
still can't seem to sweet-talk a girl enough to win her heart though.
ahh who needs a heart when u have video games ... ?

maybe i'll go shopping
in the morning.

friday it's fucking beautiful
inside at work
hockey game is starting soon
inside at fucking work
started smoking again
inside high on tosmacco at work
scared for my best friend dying
still fucking inside work
going for a smoke
fuck work

i just found out that my best friend is dying of choleris (?)
what the hell am i supposed to do?

it's almost that time.........

yea... TIME for me to go to bed
valentine's needs a scrooge.

job-a-ma-bob :

pb&j on white
coffee black
and i had a lil' too much vodka for break-fast

look i was bored ok?
noon'ish now. not inebriated anymore.
sounds like prodigy in the background. yep it's prodigy.
maybe i should get excited and toss an exact---o knife at my boss.
hey there's a plan.

my computer at work has a dvd player, a cd-rw, flatscreen monitor, dsl connection, 1.2 ghz processor, more ram than u can shake a stick at.
and what do i have at home ?
i dun wanna talk about it.
this is the only reason i come to work. burn cd's and stream porn.
not my problem if boss wants to pay me for it.
i'll let him watch a vidclip or 2...

sometimes i actually wish i had a roommate.
i got up at 4am this morning and just started cleaning for absolutely no reason.
and nobody to appreciate my efforts.
i feel like inviting someone over for dinner or coffee just so they can notice how clean i am.
not like my friends don't already know
"dude you're supposed to have pizza boxes and beer cans all over the place, WTF MAN!"
"and there's not nearly enough barf & piss on your toilet bowl"
i think i spend more money on household cleaners than i spend on going out and doing stuff.

obsessive compulsive disorder?

if anyone actually reads this, can u leave a comment or something?
dammit

something that really sucks :

my job is so mind-numbing that i'm completely braindead by time i get home from work.
so i totally forget to kill myself when i get home.
i wake up in the morning and i'm too tired to think about killing myself, so i just head off to work.
by time my morning coffee wears off, i'm settled in at work, and the thought comes back...
i've been doing this everyday for the past 5 months.
i think it's time to start looking for a new job...

either that or i should really hassle my boss to get a freaking coffeemaker in the office.
what kinda office doesn't have a coffeemaker? i'll tell you --- an office run by tea-sipping cheapass dipshits!
at my old job we went through AT LEAST 10 pots of coffee a day. and there were only 6 of us! hahaha...

at work...

fried brain empty stomach
hey alright i hear foo fighters

still not sure what i should do for valentine's...
i guess i'm waiting for her to make the first move
so i at least know if i can blow things out of proportion or not.

i've gotta stop sleeping on the couch.
i just got up with the worst back pain EVER

i think i actually want to have a bad day today.
so far so good. err bad...

i'm hitting the hay early tonite. after that shindig last nite.
i'm too old for all nighters.

did anyone else watch the pairs figure skating finals tonite?
i'm canadian. i was so proud of the performance i watched. it truly was one of the greatest performances of ANYTHING i have ever witnessed in my life.
funny how the russian judges didn't seem to agree. funnier how the russian team won, regardless of the faults they made in their performance.
oh well ... they won my heart .

it's late. 2:30am 'ish.
my friends are consuming me. 2 close friends letting drugs ruin their lives.
i can't help but want to do everything i can to help them.
i let drugs screw me up pretty bad at one point in my life...
nobody was there to help me, because nobody knew anything was wrong.
now i feel the same thing is happening with my friends,
and i don't want them to have to go through it all.

my coffee's cold
and no thermostat

squatting on my chair
i think i'm a gargoyle.

do gargoyles have to get up and go to the washroom this often ?
caffeine consumation wow today.

i just finished accepting plans with a couple friends to watch a movie on thursday. yea v-day.
so far i don't have any romantic plans for valentine's, i don't even really have a girlfriend.
well there's 1 girl, we had a date last week but she was in a car accident and couldn't make it. so... we haven't gone out yet. but i would like to ask her to 'be mine'. i just don't know if it's appropriate, under the circumstances that we barely know each other. [ but sure it was acceptable when i was 16 asking out perfect strangers with a dozen roses, hehe ]
i was thinking of AT LEAST asking her if she wanted to go out on valentine's day. but here i go off making plans with a couple friends.
i suppose i could keep the plans with my friends as a last resort. and when it comes down to the wire, i can let them know if i'm gonna sell them out or not. but that's something i don't take pride in doing. i've always strived to be reliable. it's actually really hard for me to say "no" to anything. which is probably how i ended up in this pickle to begin with.
i could always do both. movie at 7 with friends. dinner date after 9. but that's calling for a long night, and i've work in the morning. (like i care about sleep deprivation)...

well, i know where my paycheck is going this week. *flush*
i wanted to get a new pair of shoes, and maybe some pants.
...and some new dishes or something to spice my place up.

i was on my way home from work one day last week, and i caught the sunset. [ i haven't seen the sun in months ]
a nice little thought crossed my mind. which i, at the time wanted to write a poem about. and i think i actually did mumble out a poem at the moment, but nothing on paper. but i currently have nothing more than the thought.

watching the sunset.
the sky falls for the moon.


i won't allow myself to add to that.
i guess i could pull a haiku out of it.
well g'nite...

working on a new layout.
gimme a week.

[valley-girl crisis] - i was playing FFX, and accidently bumped my PS2 console, it made some weird noise and stopped working. i took the game out and looked at it. it's got a pretty big scratch/smudge on it and now the game won't work properly. it can't read the data i NEED. so that's a buncha $$$ down the drain. i don't think a warranty will cover this, but i'll try. plan b: go rent the game and swap my copy with the rental and return it! haha...

this template is going to die.
sooooooooon...

i didn't do anything yesterday, and i'm not doing anything today.
ok? blogthat

HOLY SHIT DOES ANYONE LIKE TOMATO SOUP!?!

weekend!

waking up to the phone ringing sure beats the hell out of my alarm clock. ahhh saturday.
they should make an alarm clock that looks like the grim reaper.
if i were lucky enough, perhaps the reaper would just stop by sometime and shlop my head off
hey come on over man i'll throw on some coffee and microwave burritos.
'and shlop my head off'

oh ya

am i existing?

ehhh... i got a site up, deject.net it's just personal smut right now, but i might do something more with it...
i dunno about this blog place
it's the same thing on every page.

stupid kids. go to high school and get beat up.
you're making me miserable.