thanks forever:ything

i'm sorry i've neglected my blog so much lately . i'm drunk right now . 5 days ago i found myself in bed with my best friend . we didn't have sex or anything, but i know i'll never see her again . i don't even know how to explain how much that hurts . we used to go out, and i hate to say it but when we were lying there together, it felt so good . i think i really need a girlfriend like her . not her though .

i work like 100 hours a week now . i have 2 jobs, plus i run my own business with a friend now . money is flying all over the place and i don't really have much to show for it . a few good hangovers and a lot of time knocking balls at the driving range over small business talks .

i don't know what to say . how old do i have to be until i can be in a relationship where there's quality time involved ? these nights are so lonely, i feel as if i'm wasting so much . i've always been the type to make the most of my time, and i really want to have someone in my life with whom i can put time into . i suppose i chose the wrong lifestyle over the past few years . looking in the party scene to settle down . that doesn't work . but there are some really great people i've met, with their habits set aside, i've seen the best of people in them . and some people i've found, are just like me . simple people stuck . they can't get anywhere with their lifestyle, so they try another one and see what they can bring home . sometimes i wonder if they'll ever lose themselves to the scene . adapt to their surroundings and fade into the picture . i forget what i was getting at ... one more beer and i'll forget what ... ok ...

too many girls . too much beer . but all i really want is 1 girl ... to help me drink all this booze .

remind me to read this in the morning to see if it makes any sense .