thanks forever:ything

so... a dear friend of mine, a woman i cared deeply for and watched over for the past 4 years, has landed herself in a US federal prison for 8 years as of monday november 15th. i cannot describe how heartwrenched i am. after first hearing the news via 3 phonecalls from different friends/acquaintances, i felt somewhat nonchalant and brushed it off as more rumors or bogus conversational updates. i woke up thursday morning to see a news article my roommate had left on our computer's browser; "Third strike for teen drug smuggler", i didn't have to read past the headline before my world turned dark and silent. shortly after, i left for work, searching for a newsstand to grab a copy of the paper... and there it was, on the front page of the day's paper.

the past 2 days have been a write-off for me. dragging my feet underneath my sagging head. my eyes dimmed and my life on mute.

the only thought i have left, is of my failure. i could have helped her. i could have done something.

i am a defeated man, and redemption has never been my strong suit.

four years of love. two week of tears. i'll be under the golden gates, wishing you the best.

...good luck, winnie.