thanks forever:ything

everything is set up for me to start living again.

tomorrow i am off to vancouver island to celebrate canada day. or at least celebrate my wonderful life of getting drunk in the afternoon and asking waitresses to marry me. either way, fun.

i am moving out with a friend at the end of july. i've been on haitus staying at my mom's house in the ghetto for nearly 4 months now. 4 months too long.

my best friend is in korea until mid-august. so there will be no wine & dine life for a while. nor will there be 4am trips to the donut shop, or excessive amounts of money spent at starbucks.

this girl i kind of like just left for a 3 week vacation. this will leave me virtually undistractable. indestructable!

i will be spending the month of july on AWOL from any kind of social life. i am taking up a second job doing temp work during weekdays, and keeping my current evenings & weekends job at the restaurant. i will be on the job/commuting to the job for 18+ hours a day. this should give me more than enough finances to get myself moved into the new place, feed myself for a while, and have just about enough savings left to send myself to thailand as an early birthday present around the end of august/early september.

this should be fun!

Kissing the sky, hello
Intimate
Magic
I

Wonderful, yeah...
On

Open, hello
Midnight
Other
Under

Tomorrow
Oh
Kiss
I...

5 hours ago i was officially informed that my entire life and life's work has been taken away from me, for good.

how can i explain the feeling of losing 23 years of your life in the blink of an eye. as though your home had burned down in fiery malice. or suddenly your neighbourhood became a war-torn battlezone, and when the dust settles; all that's left infront of you is flacid debris. how do i put into words, waking up in the morning to find yourself in a room that doesn't belong to you, not a single possession or memory nearby to comfort you in your earliest solitude.

to build a future without a past, would be as if building a house on a bed of sand.

and to think that such a gruesome human being exists. that disposing of another person's life can be as easy as taking out the trash. to take advantage of this power we are entrusted with. to be so shallow to ignore the consideration of others. how can such a person live?

the road which crumbles behind me, leads to nowhere
reaching the end, and falling.

though i am survived, by my heart and soul.

i had a strange dream last night. i dreamt that a lady from my old work called and asked me to come in to the office on "thursday at 10:45am". so i went to their office at 10:45am on thursday, realizing that i had been dressed up in a chef's uniform (which is for my current job). my old boss was scrubbed out with an afro, rollerskating around the office and he asked me what the hell i was doing there? i don't remember why the lady had called me in, but it wasn't important. anyways... i found myself later on in the dream, lying ontop of a desk half asleep. and then i heard some strange noises. it turned out to be a scorpion that for some reason made rattlesnake sounds. i was like OH FUCK! i tried to crush him with a pillow, but he had like super-titanium armour on him, so that didn't work. then some chick walked by and said something like "oh yea, the reason ..... is cuz we're infested with scorpions". eventually i got lazy and tried to go back to sleep, disregarding the scorpion. so he [the scorpion] crawled up my leg and dipped his poisonous tail thing into me, and i was like FUCK OFF I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. the scorpion looked at me, and started talking like a radio newscaster. i flung outta bed as that was the end of that stupidass dream.

the first thing i saw on the internet this morning was a picture of my ex-ex-ex-gf... she seems to be doing really well for herself. happy, successful, HOT....... i guess i'm spending today in regret for fucking that relationship up...

stick it up your ass, rice crispy square.

//dear life:

i'm coming to town for the weekend. maybe we'll hook up and do something together. i'll give you a call tonight.

cheers,
bob//

//dear life:

brb.

sincerely,
bob//


brb
bob
brb
bob
brbobrb @__<

sitting outside 10:30am coffee, cigarettes and not-so-good morning.
staring back at my reflection in an abandonned window propped up against the shed adjacent to mom's house.
bed-sex hair, pj bottoms, ghetto-raver hoodie, a pair of kicks, i'm sockless.
brr...

being back at home with mom is seeming to be the root of my troubled mind.

EWWWWWWWW WTF some dude across the street was watching me with binoculars. i turn my head and he's on his balcony behind an oak tree peeping away at me. i stare at him for like 5 seconds, then he decides to walk off casually. hahaha wtf. i wonder if he saw me jerking off earlier...

anyways.
haha sidetrack.
oh well, ...putting my problems aside for another day!

click image for full size

there are three primary sides to me/

1) silent-mysterious-starvingartist-loner-poet
2) loud-abnoxious-flailing-partykid
3) do-gooder-sentimentalist-weak-hearted-romantic

and then there's about a thousand other moods i go through.

i'm having trouble finding someone who can put up with me.

creepy hidden messages/



haha, i love it

GO COFFFEE GOO!!!